Not written by me, but by Paul
Hudson.
1. You love your partner for how
he or she makes you ‘feel.’
Feelings — or, as I like to call
them, “misleading little bastards” — may be enough to make you fall in love
with somebody. But that’s only if you’re naive.
Most of what you’re feeling is a
physiological response to the other person’s physical and psychological
qualities (the way he or she loves, acts, thinks, etc.).
A person’s looks change over time.
I’m sorry to tell you this, but it doesn’t get prettier. Just the same,
someone’s inner self changes too.
If it’s the right person, the
changes will be less shocking. But people do change over time. If this is all
that’s keeping you in love, then know that your love will fade.
2. You both want the same things
in life.
While it’s crucial to be
compatible with the person you’re going to share your life with, compatibility
isn’t everything. Maybe your partner makes you feel incredible.
Maybe this person also wants to
live in Hawaii, have three kids and spend days on the beach — just like you.
But your relationship can still fall apart, because that’s not what matters
most.
Wanting the same things in life
doesn’t guarantee total compatibility. Compatibility also means having similar
personalities and values. Compatibility extends beyond the superficial. And if
that’s all you have, how can you call it true love?
3. You’re with this person only
for the sake of not being alone.
No one wants to be alone. People
fear it above all else — even more than death. They fear missing out on
memories and experiences.
They fear that they will leave
this world alone, with no one to hold them and reassure them that everything
will be okay. But that’s not enough of a reason to be with someone you don’t
truly love.
Ultimately, it doesn’t take a
lifetime to know if the love you share is true. While people do change, the
part of them that makes them who they are stays the same. They improve, but
their core stays the same.
This isn’t to say that true love
is enough to keep two people together. Just like you might be deluded into
believing you’re truly in love with your partner, you might mistake actual true
love when you’re face-to-face with it.
People are capable of being
stupid, making mistakes and screwing everything up. Believe me. I’ve lived it.
Be observant. Be analytical. Be
brave. And, most importantly, be honest.
By Paul Hudson
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