Pointing out things that are often overlooked in relationship conversations but are really harmful to your love life.
We all know one or two things about relationahips.
We
have an idea of what to do, and how to make relationships work. Often
the buzzwords are intimacy, trust, attention, care, surprises, amazing
sex, bla bla bla.
The list is quite endless, really, and rightly so, given how separate people get ticked by several different things.
However,
some attributes and requirements often get overlooked or forgotten when
we are listing requirements for a healthy relationship.
Funny
thing is that these things, just like all the other obvious ones play a
part in what the relationship feels like, and what the eventual outcome
will be.
In the next lines, we examine 4 of those things.
Disrespect
In a recent article, a couple married of 70 years expressed how respect has been the strongest bond holding them together.
What
often triggers hurt or anger is disrespect. When there’s mutual
respect, couples have a firm foundation upon which they can stand and
weather any storm that may face their relationship.
Relationship goals (Atlanta Black Star)
Lack of validation
It is often frustrating when a partner does not make the effort to understand what the other is saying.
You
necessarily do not have to agree with everything your partner says,
that’s fine; what isn’t is when you actually do not make any effort to
understand the opinion they are trying to express.
Your partner deserves your validation, really; it makes no sense when you shut their opinions or ideas without even trying to see the merit therein.
Again, you do not need to agree, but you can do is at least try to “get it.”
As much as you should do things together, try not to choke each other by always being around (Single Black Male)
No space
No one, or rather, not too many people like to feel 'boxed in' in a relationship.
That
you are a couple does not change the fact that you both are still
individuals with separate lives, interests and responsibilities outside
the relationship.
Often ignored, this is one aspect of relationships that could eventually snuff life out of what you both are trying to build.
Give
your partner the space to breathe – let them be able to see their
friends, do the things they were doing before they met you, they do not
have to be around you all the time.
They [and you, too] need to maintain your own identity, don’t you see?
Being too uptight
There
was a tweet I saw recently about how Nigerian guys do not always like
to involve in pillow fights, because they are too eager to tear bra and
fling pant. Lol.
Be playful and not always too eager to always fling pant and suck bre ast (Twitter)
That, sadly is quite true, but it is not really limited to the guys.
Take
note that engaging in serious play [and rough play, sometimes] with
each other is one of the best ways to secure the bond between the two of
you.
Serious conversations about goals and where
you intend to be in the next 5 years, or reminiscing about your
[warped/unhappy] childhood together are not the only ways to do thaT
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