This is for all the guys who pick up random
girls on the streets without knowing anything
about them. Here’s how to know if you are
sharing your bed with a mammy water:
some other random place. Maybe she
was even standing in front of an
uncompleted building
2. You don’t know her surname. She told
you her name is “ Just Julie”
3. She agreed to sleep with you on the very
first day, in fact she moved into your
house, no questions asked.
4. She never gets tired. She can pound yam,
fry garri, grind pepper with a stone and
still have s*x with you when she finishes.
5. She always looks perfect, even first thing
in the morning. No pimples, her make-up
looks permanent and everything is
always in the right place.
6. Her Brazilian hair looks natural. It really
looks like her hair but maybe salons have
found a way to remove natural hair and
put it back later.
7. She never talks about her family and she
doesn’t have any friends. You only hear
her saying “My sea sisters” sometimes at
night but you’re not bothered because
girls call themselves all sorts of things.
8. Ever since you started sleeping with her,
your life has turned upside down but of
course your stepmother in the village is
to blame.
9. She has stopped you from eating fish.
Ever since she came into your life, it’s
only chicken or meat, nothing that comes
from the sea.
10. She doesn’t ask you for anything. In fact,
she’s every Nigerian boyfriend’s dream.
You don’t pay for human hair or BIS and
she doesn’t even want Blackberry Z10.
She doesn’t care about Valentine’s Day
and you don’t even know her birthday
sef. She never gets jealous or goes
through your phone and she couldn’t
care less about your Facebook password.
In fact she’s the best!
If the girl you’re with falls into all these
categories, you better wake up my guy, NA
FISH SHE BE!!
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