Marriages that begin without deep, honest conversations about these things might not stand the test of time.
playImagine someone who tries to cross a busy highway with earphones plugged deep in his ears, his favourite trap music blasting pop slangs and bars into his soul.
Imagine that he also refuses to look left and right, and left and right again as they taught us all to do in those social study classes in primary school.
What rushes to mind is the image of metal swiftly impacting body; mangling flesh and crunching bones, right?
As devastating as the above sounds, it is the closest thing I can think about whenever I remember that people actually try to get married without asking the right questions, without discussing all the right things that might come back later to bite their butts.
Inemesit Udodiong, the hostess of “Love Sex and Everything Else” says on the last episode of the show that as contentious as some of these issues might be to you and your bae, how scared you are at the things you might hear, and the implications they might have on your relationship, you still have to talk about them nonetheless.
playDiscuss all the issues that could prove to be problematic later in the future (Just)
Every marriage that is begun without proper discussion and agreement on the four things listed below will mostly end in disaster, she says.
So what are the things you must compulsorily talk about?
1. Faith
“Sometimes when people are desperate to get married, they don’t want to think about anything [but just to getting married]," Inemesit says.
That is a huge mistake though.
Don’t ever get too modern to assume that faith and religious beliefs no longer affect relationships/marriages. Don’t ever make that mistake.
playHow comfortable would you be with the idea of changing your religion for the sake of love (SexySingleMom)How comfortable are you with the idea of switching your faith because you want to be in a relationship or because you want to marry someone?
Do you think your partner will be cool with you keeping your faith? How about your parents or your spouse’s parents, would they be cool with that, too, or would they freak out?
2. Finances
Another thing to talk about is your finances.
The hostess says, “money and related issues have been found to be one of the major causes of failed marriages”
People avoid having these conversations before getting married, and somewhere into the marriage resentment creeps in because one partner feels the other is not doing anything to bring in money into the marriage, which brings all the financial burden on his/her shoulder.
playTry to reach a reasonable compromise about money and financial responsibilities (AtlantaBlackstar)
Generally, it is advisable to discuss every issue that has to do with money and how it might affect your relationship/marriage.
3. Sex
Of course, you cannot afford to avoid sex talks with someone you are thinking of spending the rest of your life with.
“Are you going to tie me up and stick things into me?
“Are you into anal sex or are you into BDSM?”
All these and related sexual questions are things to ask potential partners before deciding to go into a marriage with them.
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