As much as we love staying in our marriages, it's also good to know
that even the most wonderful, 'perfect' couple can end up divorced
because of silly habits.
11 bad habits that would crush any marriageAs much as we all want to stay married and/or enjoy a blissful marriage forever, it's also good to know that even the most wonderful, 'perfect' couple can end up divorced.
Two people start off genuinely in love but somewhere down the line, despite everything looking rosy on the surface, they shock their families and friends and announce they are ending their marriage because it couldn’t work out. How? What happened? They seemed so good and happy together!
This
isn't unusual at all. Many couples struggle to maintain a 'happy
relationship,' but their marriages still falls apart. Here are 11 bad
habits they likely left un-addressed that slowly but surely eroded love
and connection between them:
1. Neglecting each other.
Blowing each other off, forgetting to follow through on things
promised, failing to pay attention. Neither of you necessarily meant to
make other things more important than your spouse, but you did.
2. Letting disconnect become the norm. This is when couples start to say things like "I love you, but I am no longer 'in love' with you."
3. Not being on the same page with each other. Often
couples lack alignment on the things that matter most, and feel like
their own personal goals/feelings are the most important ones to focus
on.
4. Allowing intimacy to dwindle. The affection, connection and tenderness you once shared dries up from lack of effort, leaving you merely roommates.
5. Not meeting each other's needs. Every
person has unique needs they hope their partner will fulfill. But often
couples fail to speak up about those needs or presume their partner's
needs are the same as theirs.
6. Criticizing each other. When
you nitpick each other in your minds and out loud, soon you only see
your partner's faults. After awhile, complaining and criticizing become a
comfortable habit which compromises your willingness to communicate and
interact in a compassionate, supportive way.
7. Harboring resentment for each other.
Unspoken or unresolved resentment festers and severely poisons a once
healthy relationship. One partner (or even both) can think: You did this
thing to me, and I can't get over it.
8. Not dealing with things head on. You
know things are off, but it's easier to do nothing about it. You avoid
facing the truth or handling the real issues in your marriage.
Man with commitment issues
9. Turning your attention (and affection) elsewhere.
Whether by having an affair or pouring all of your attention into the
kids, one or both of you checked out and sought attention and affection
elsewhere. After that, it's easy to completely give up.
10. Letting stress control your lives.
Life is hectic and many couples accidentally let stress (big and small)
come between them. But once stress takes over and shared togetherness
fractures, it can feel incredibly difficult (if not impossible) to get
back.
11. Fighting to win. When you're more focused on 'being right' than truly connecting, attempts to 'talk about it' usually make things worse.
The
longer the above issues remain unresolved in ANY marriage, the more
these habits intertwine, intensify and steadily reduce the flow of love
and connection in your life. Each day, love dwindles and stress builds
until even formerly happy couples reach their breaking point.
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