People “date,” but what the hell does that even mean anymore? Is it
hanging out twice a month? Texting all day? Kissing here and there?
Anthony D'Ambrosio of YourTango says couples practically cheat on each other everyday, in ways that doesn't include sex.
D'Ambrosio
writes, It’s 5:30 am, and your alarm goes off. You open your eyes, and
your mind starts racing. Meetings, conference calls and project
deadlines all loom.
Why is there always so much to do and never enough time to get it done?
You
grab your phone and scroll through your notifications as you walk into
the shower, half awake. Knowing she’s not up, you send her a text
message: “Good morning, baby. I hope you have a wonderful day.”
This
text serves as two reminders: You want her to know she’s the first
thing on your mind. And, more importantly, she needs to realize that,
regardless of how stressful or busy your days are, she’s the priority.
It sounds so perfect, but that’s not reality.
Instead,
you’ll log into Instagram or Facebook, nosing into everyone else’s
life, and maybe, just maybe, you’ll send that text to your woman on the
way to work.
Relationships these days lack
direction. People “date,” but what the hell does that even mean anymore?
Is it hanging out twice a month? Texting all day? Kissing here and
there?
Something is missing. What’s causing relationships to falter at the rate they are?
Relationships
thrive on communication. Our most intimate emotions are reserved for
the person we love, so how is it acceptable to never show them?
We’ve
accepted so many unacceptable things: sitting at the dinner table with
our phones out, arguing over text, publishing every minute of our lives
on social media.
Do you know what trumps all that? That society has accepted relationships in which we are being cheated on every day.
When
you think of cheating in the traditional sense, having sex with another
person comes to mind. It’s an intimate situation in which the person
you love is connecting with another while you are going about your life,
loving and caring for said person. Once you find out, all trust is
lost.
But think about the concept for a minute.
Webster’s Dictionary defines cheating as the deprivation of “something valuable by the use of deceit or fraud.”
Sure,
sex is cheating and may be the most hurtful case, but have you ever
stopped to think you’re being cheated out of your relationship every
day?
We experience a lack of communication,
attention, passion, intimacy and even lack of love. Why are we okay with
this and all the communication shortcuts that have become so common?
This type of cheating causes much more damage than that of any sexual affair.
You’ve
given your heart to someone and love him or her with every bone in your
body, but you have to beg for his or her attention. You sit back and
watch this person post status updates about useless things, or post
pictures just so people can comment.
You need to
take a minute to tell her she’s beautiful. Call her after work to say,
“Get dressed in 30 minutes. I’m picking you up and taking you somewhere
special.”
Make an effort. Old-fashioned love needs to make another round.
The
days of holding hands, opening the car door, taking her out “just
because,” sending her flowers just to get a smile and leaving her notes
on her car should never be gone.
We have to be
children when it comes to love. We have to be vulnerable and free. That
can’t happen when we’re preoccupied with the details of everyone else’s
lives.
Focus on each other. When it’s all said and done, that’s all you really have.
Appreciate
her, and show her how much she means to you. But, most importantly, put
your phone down, and dial into what’s in front of you.
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