In the search for the right one, your anxiousness may lead you to read false or mixed signals
Most people in serious
relationships have one aim - marriage, but how do you know you have met
the right one? even if you get married, how would you know it would be
"till death do us part".
In the search for the
right one, your anxiousness may lead you to read false or mixed signals
and you'll end up making all the wrong moves. People have different
personality types, hence no two dating patterns are the same.
For those still looking for the right life partner, Shantell E. Jamison of Ebony lists the 5 personalities you get to meet before landing the right one (This list doesn't apply to everyone):
1. The Crazy One:
If you’re still single and have yet to date the crazy type, get ready.
They’re too good to be true because, well, it’s a lie. You mistake their
fits of rage after finding a text from an associate as “caring.” At
first, you’ll perceive their behavior as “a symptom of being in love”
instead of the red flag that he/she is controlling and possibly covering
up their own tracks. Everyone has allowed their emotions to get the
best of them at some point, but this person always does. You’ll find
them staked out in front of your crib at three a.m. because you didn’t
reply to their text messages right away. This is one of the few
personality types that most won’t deal with for long. Insecure people
like this will drive any sane person away fast, but these types usually
prey on those with low self-esteem. Their insanity often turns into
physical and mental abuse, a tool they use to manipulate and keep you at
bay. Hopefully, you’ll be gone before I finish this sentence.
2. The Best Friend: You’ve
been friends for quite some time, but are just now noticing that you’re
attracted to each other. You know each other: from their favorite foods
to that time he slept with his college roommate’s girlfriend. The
friendship is too sacred for the relationship not to work, so you go for
it. So what your friend cheated on everyone he/she has every dated?!
With you it will be different. But it isn’t. The best-friend breakup is
particularly bad because you least expect it. This is someone who knows
what you’ve been through and has been that shoulder to lean on during
tough times. Now they’re the one causing you harm and you have no
shoulder to lean on. Don’t get me wrong; I’ve seen a couple of
successful relationships rooted in friendship. But some friends hook up
out of desperation and convenience, so don’t take it personal if it
doesn’t work out.
3. The Wild Card:
With the wild card, you never know what you’re going to get. You’re
intrigued by the “danger of it all.” You stick with them for the
excitement, and the false belief that you can tame this wild and free
soul. Most wild cards have commitment and stability issues, but we see
their problems as “living on the edge” or “going with the flow.” Never
mind the clusterf*ck of an emotional roller coaster they put you
through. These individuals have a stream of short-term relationships
that all end due to the “other person’s issues.” The wild card never
takes responsibility for their own actions and will constantly try to
manipulate you with passive-aggressive behavior when you call them out
on their bull. Trust, this isn’t a ride at the amusement park that
you’ll want to wait in line for.
4. The One You Think You Can Save: This
is by far the most emotionally draining personality type that you can
involve yourself with. The relationship starts off sweet, with your mate
showing you signs of a normal person who is warm and interesting. Give
it about six weeks. They will have you in tears because you can see “the
potential” of how good you can be together, but the reality is anything
but. Despite what is being presented, you won’t have sense enough to
leave right away because they “need” you. You believe that you can
change them and most likely have a strong desire to be needed. These
relationships are particularly damaging because “the victim” is very
good at playing the role. For most of the union, they’ll have you
wondering what you did wrong (which is nothing), and holding on a bit
too long to an already doomed relationship.
5. The Stepping Stone:
The stepping stone is always looking for something better. They have no
problem using people to fill the void left from an unsuccessful
relationship or until the “right one” comes along. They ignore the fact
that they’re trading in people as if they are shopping for a car.
Unfortunately, you’ll buy into their affections, not knowing that
they’re looking for the next best thing. They are the epitome of selfish
and can truly damage your self-esteem. No one is perfect, and many of
us have behaved in ways similar to the personality traits described. The
difference is that some allow their emotions to get the best of them on
occasion, while others dwell in destruction. The point of this list
isn’t to tell you that you’ve made horrible choices when dating. It’s
meant to encourage you to not give up, to realize that you’ve got to go
through some relationship fails to find your mate. Often, we can block
love from finding us because we’re looking too hard for it. Love is
something that you just cannot force, because your spirit is what will
attract your mate to you. I’ve dated all of the personality types above
(and then some), and it hasn’t deterred me. So don’t allow the “nos” to
keep you from your “yes,” “amen” and “then some”!
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